Loving Your Addict
It can absolutely suck when you realize that a friend, a family member or a loved one has an Alcohol or a Substance abuse problem. After getting over that initial shock, you are suddenly hit with questions such as "What do I do?", " How did this Happen? ". Finding answers is not always the easiest thing to do. Of course your next door neighbor wont have the right answer nor do you probably want to tell your neighbor just yet. This is the one thiing I can guarantee you, when it comes to alcoholism and substance abuse there is a lot of misinformation out there by a lot of misinformed people. You wouldnt bring your broke down car to your favorite baker to get it fixed. Use professionals, most hospitals have programs, classes and wonderful people to help you. In the meantime here are a few suggestions that just might help you.
Get Help Right Away, Dont Wait Untill the Situation Gets Ten Times Worse.
Don't wait untill you hope it will go away, because it wont. Dont be ashamed of your loved one's addiction and just ignore it and finally don't think you have all the answers because you don't. Dont be scared, Dont be ashamed. Contact professionals as soon as possible. The quicker you reach out for help, the better it is for all parties involved.
Wake up, This is Reality.
Hoping your loved one, parent, brother, sister, or mate will be magically cured will not happen. Things will not be better just because you hope it will. Accept the fact that your life may also be out of control because of your loved ones addiction. Addiction can have huge effects on your life. Waking up each day hoping and praying that your addict wont get arrested, your addict wont overdose and your addict wont die. Having any of these thoughts or all of these thoughts each day can and will take a toll on you both physically and mentally. Accepting the situation for what it is, is the first step for loving your alcoholic / addict.
You Have NO Control over your Alcoholic / Addict
Many loved ones refuse to believe this. We begin to think we can fix our alcoholic / addict. It has never worked and it will not begin with you. You are also not responsible for anything your alcoholic /addict does. Once you can grasp this realitiy, life will get much easier.
Don't Blame your Alcoholic / Addict, Take a Look at Yourself.
That is a very strong statement and for some of you it may even make you mad. I am not in any way saying that you are to blame for your loved one's addiction. I am saying you may be helping them stay in active addiction rather than recovery. Are you consistently loaning your alcoholic / addict money? Are you always there to pull them out of trouble? Looking at the unhealthy things you may be doing will help you and your alcoholic / addict.
It's Time to Go Back to School
Education is the Key. If a loved one had cancer, there is no doubt you would learn all about the type of cancer that your loved one has. Well addiction is a disease and you need to educate yourself not only how your addicts disease works but how the disease will affect you. There is no cure but it can be arrested and recovery is a life long process so to go through it blind is one of the most irresponsible thing you can do.
These are just a few suggestions. I cant stress Educating yourself is the smartest and most responsible thing you can do.
Upstate Recovery Council does offer programs and speakers for groups. If interested in learning more about our speakers and programs please contact us at Theupstaterecoverycouncil@gmail.com